Yesterday, it came as no surprise that our female-filled office was stuffed to the gills with flowers, candy and gifts from boyfriends, husbands and parents. Everywhere I turned, there were fragrant bouquets and interested investigators eager to know their provenance. “Who sent you those? Ooooh, they’re so pretty!” they all chirped from their similarly adorned work areas.
Meanwhile I sat at my happy little desk, retyping labels and planning the week’s meals, as no parcels for me arrived. As the day pressed on, I got more and more comments about my lack of foliage and flora. The most common sentiment? “You must not have that new husband of yours well-trained!”
Cue flames of rage falling all around me.
I don’t have my husband well-trained?!? My wonderful, kind, loving husband? I haven’t ‘trained’ him like some sort of subservient little man-puppy to fulfill my stereotypical, assumed needs? Umm… not so much.
Now, I have absolutely no problems with flowers or husbands who send them, let me make that absolutely clear! Flowers are generally a beautiful and romantic gesture between spouses and significant others. While I don’t personally care or expect or ask to receive them, I have sent flowers to friends and brought them to my family on special occasions and holidays.
But for people to think my husband has somehow not met my (completely imagined) expectations of cut flowers delivered on a commercial holiday makes me absolutely rageful. Keep in mind, these are the same people that were astounded I didn’t want a huge engagement ring and thought Bill let me down when we chose my (little, pearl) ring together.
Bill’s and my relationship is our very own and we are our own people. I am not some maiden in distress, waiting for a public declaration of love to prove to my coworkers that my husband thinks of me. Bill shows me he loves me every, single day in a million ways. He knows me well enough to know that I don’t want him to waste cash on flowers and that he doesn’t have any reason to have to display our love to others via florist’s wares. We have a nice, quiet private relationship, and I like it that way.
So, yesterday rather than unleashing my almighty righteous anger on coworkers, I laughed it off and said that he knows I’d rather have him buy me cardigans any day. Because I know how my husband knows and loves me and it’s really not anyone else’s business : )
PS Sorry if this came off a little overly ragey or judgy. That’s not the case at all. I just don’t want people to think they either know what I want or what my husband should do better than either of us do.
PPS Yesterday was also my sweet ‘little’ brother-in-law’s birthday, which makes the day special, but not necessarily romantic to me ; )